Introducing kitties
Feb. 12th, 2012 11:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rosefox posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
catsHi all! I'm hoping you can help me out or at least reassure me about some cat-introducing issues I'm having.
My partner Josh and I have two cats, Sam and Java. They're the ones in my userpic. Java is 15 and something of a cranky old man; he's not argumentative, but he likes things how he likes them and he expects the world to comply. He's been on steroids for the past year-plus to treat pancreatitis, but the steroids don't seem to have affected his mood or personality much. Sam is 8 and about as smart as a box of rocks with all the smart rocks taken out. She has kitty PTSD from being treated badly as a kitten, and while she's calmed down a lot over the past seven years of getting tons of love from me and Josh and Java, she's still quite skittish and wary and nervous. She doesn't like loud noises or change or... much of anything, really, other than being near people most of the time and occasionally being cuddled and petted when she's in the mood for it.
When we got Sam, she was about a year old and completely freaked out by EVERYTHING. She hissed at me, at Josh, at Java, at brooms, at the wall... she was very scared and very defensive. We told Java that she was his cat and he should take care of her, and he basically raised her and taught her how to be a cat. They're moderately affectionate now, and over the past six months, they've even started to cuddle occasionally. Every once in a while they get into a bit of a knock-down-drag-out fight but it's pretty rare.
Two weeks ago, we moved to a new apartment with my other partner, Xtina. The cats were very unhappy about the move, of course, but we kept them in Xtina's room for a couple of days and then let them out to explore, and within a week or so, they were pretty comfortable with it. As was our habit at the old place, we let them into the bedrooms during the day but shut them out at night; they still have the living room, kitchen, and bathroom to hang out in, and we make sure they have plenty of soft nesting spots where they can sleep. (They're indoor-only kitties.)
TLDR: Java is 15M and opinionated, Sam is 8F and doofy and skittish. Their primary interaction is Java trying to lick Sam's head and Sam shoving him away. (Think a teenager yelping "Dad, you're embarrassing me!".) Otherwise they're generally friendly, but not super-close. After seven years in one place, which was the only home Sam has ever really known, my partner Josh and I and the cats just moved to a new apartment to live with my partner Xtina. The cats seem to be coping pretty well with this.
Three days ago, Xtina got a new cat, Jasmine, who's a year old and pretty mellow. She's been locked in Xtina's room, but Java and Sam know she's there; they sniff around the door a lot, they sniff us when we've gone in to play with her, and each of them has gotten a carefully controlled glimpse of her. Java hissed at her (predictably) and then came over to me and was very cuddly and clingy and nervous. I gave him lots of treats and petting, and he calmed down. That's all fine and not worrying. What concerns me more is Sam. After she saw Jasmine, she spent an hour hissing and growling--at Java. She's been alternating between being mellow and being growly ever since. Half an hour ago, she and Java were hanging out on Josh's bed, practically cuddling; then she sniffed a bag I'd taken into the room where Jasmine is and immediately got all growly at Java again. Of course poor Java is totally confused and upset by this. He keeps trying to hang out with her and groom her and she keeps treating him like he's the stranger. And while Java is totally top cat, he really is not the type to get right back in Sam's face. All he's ever wanted is for her to love him and let him lick her head. So mostly he just looks at her, very alarmed and sad, and then tries to move toward her and gets more sad when she runs away.
(Jasmine's primary reaction has been wary curiosity, which is completely reasonable. I'm not concerned about her.)
How Josh and I have dealt with this so far: mostly keeping Sam and Java away from Jasmine-y things, giving them "anti-anxiety" treats in front of her door to encourage them to associate good things with her scent, very gently scolding Sam when she gets growly, otherwise giving them both lots of petting and attention and reassurance and love.
I'm sure it doesn't help that the room where Jasmine is now is the room that was Sam and Java's sanctuary when we first moved here. So first we set it up as their safe space, and then we took it away and gave it to a new cat. Sam particularly loves sitting on the loft bed, which was in my bedroom at the old place and is in Xtina's room now; it was always her place to go when things were scary. Now things are extra scary and she doesn't have that refuge. There really wasn't any other way to do things, though, so we're just going to have to deal with it and hope that the cats don't end up fighting over who gets control of that territory (especially because Jasmine would win by virtue of being Xtina's cat and the room being Xtina's room).
My big fear is that Sam will completely forget how to be friendly with any other cat and have to learn all over again, which would be very stressful for her as well as for the rest of us. I'm also not sure whether to eventually introduce Java and Sam to Jasmine at the same time; we were going to let Java go first, but if Sam smells Jasmine-scent on him, I think she would completely freak out. Then again, she's probably going to completely freak out no matter what. That's what she does, poor thing.
Is the transferred growliness totally normal? Is this just Sam being a doofy, anxious cat? Any suggestions for how to proceed with further introductions, and how to encourage Sam to play nice with Java in the meantime? Many thanks for any help you can offer!
My partner Josh and I have two cats, Sam and Java. They're the ones in my userpic. Java is 15 and something of a cranky old man; he's not argumentative, but he likes things how he likes them and he expects the world to comply. He's been on steroids for the past year-plus to treat pancreatitis, but the steroids don't seem to have affected his mood or personality much. Sam is 8 and about as smart as a box of rocks with all the smart rocks taken out. She has kitty PTSD from being treated badly as a kitten, and while she's calmed down a lot over the past seven years of getting tons of love from me and Josh and Java, she's still quite skittish and wary and nervous. She doesn't like loud noises or change or... much of anything, really, other than being near people most of the time and occasionally being cuddled and petted when she's in the mood for it.
When we got Sam, she was about a year old and completely freaked out by EVERYTHING. She hissed at me, at Josh, at Java, at brooms, at the wall... she was very scared and very defensive. We told Java that she was his cat and he should take care of her, and he basically raised her and taught her how to be a cat. They're moderately affectionate now, and over the past six months, they've even started to cuddle occasionally. Every once in a while they get into a bit of a knock-down-drag-out fight but it's pretty rare.
Two weeks ago, we moved to a new apartment with my other partner, Xtina. The cats were very unhappy about the move, of course, but we kept them in Xtina's room for a couple of days and then let them out to explore, and within a week or so, they were pretty comfortable with it. As was our habit at the old place, we let them into the bedrooms during the day but shut them out at night; they still have the living room, kitchen, and bathroom to hang out in, and we make sure they have plenty of soft nesting spots where they can sleep. (They're indoor-only kitties.)
TLDR: Java is 15M and opinionated, Sam is 8F and doofy and skittish. Their primary interaction is Java trying to lick Sam's head and Sam shoving him away. (Think a teenager yelping "Dad, you're embarrassing me!".) Otherwise they're generally friendly, but not super-close. After seven years in one place, which was the only home Sam has ever really known, my partner Josh and I and the cats just moved to a new apartment to live with my partner Xtina. The cats seem to be coping pretty well with this.
Three days ago, Xtina got a new cat, Jasmine, who's a year old and pretty mellow. She's been locked in Xtina's room, but Java and Sam know she's there; they sniff around the door a lot, they sniff us when we've gone in to play with her, and each of them has gotten a carefully controlled glimpse of her. Java hissed at her (predictably) and then came over to me and was very cuddly and clingy and nervous. I gave him lots of treats and petting, and he calmed down. That's all fine and not worrying. What concerns me more is Sam. After she saw Jasmine, she spent an hour hissing and growling--at Java. She's been alternating between being mellow and being growly ever since. Half an hour ago, she and Java were hanging out on Josh's bed, practically cuddling; then she sniffed a bag I'd taken into the room where Jasmine is and immediately got all growly at Java again. Of course poor Java is totally confused and upset by this. He keeps trying to hang out with her and groom her and she keeps treating him like he's the stranger. And while Java is totally top cat, he really is not the type to get right back in Sam's face. All he's ever wanted is for her to love him and let him lick her head. So mostly he just looks at her, very alarmed and sad, and then tries to move toward her and gets more sad when she runs away.
(Jasmine's primary reaction has been wary curiosity, which is completely reasonable. I'm not concerned about her.)
How Josh and I have dealt with this so far: mostly keeping Sam and Java away from Jasmine-y things, giving them "anti-anxiety" treats in front of her door to encourage them to associate good things with her scent, very gently scolding Sam when she gets growly, otherwise giving them both lots of petting and attention and reassurance and love.
I'm sure it doesn't help that the room where Jasmine is now is the room that was Sam and Java's sanctuary when we first moved here. So first we set it up as their safe space, and then we took it away and gave it to a new cat. Sam particularly loves sitting on the loft bed, which was in my bedroom at the old place and is in Xtina's room now; it was always her place to go when things were scary. Now things are extra scary and she doesn't have that refuge. There really wasn't any other way to do things, though, so we're just going to have to deal with it and hope that the cats don't end up fighting over who gets control of that territory (especially because Jasmine would win by virtue of being Xtina's cat and the room being Xtina's room).
My big fear is that Sam will completely forget how to be friendly with any other cat and have to learn all over again, which would be very stressful for her as well as for the rest of us. I'm also not sure whether to eventually introduce Java and Sam to Jasmine at the same time; we were going to let Java go first, but if Sam smells Jasmine-scent on him, I think she would completely freak out. Then again, she's probably going to completely freak out no matter what. That's what she does, poor thing.
Is the transferred growliness totally normal? Is this just Sam being a doofy, anxious cat? Any suggestions for how to proceed with further introductions, and how to encourage Sam to play nice with Java in the meantime? Many thanks for any help you can offer!
